I’m tempted to start this musing with … Oh, my God, a shallow, antagonistic, volatile, provocative, racist, sexist, inexperienced opportunist might actually become president of the most powerful country on earth! – but I’m not. Tough as it is, I’m going to tear my mind away from that thought, but use it to refocus on the beautiful men out there who don’t make it into the headlines. Like Ossie.
My brother-in-law Ossie was one of the best men I’ve ever met. Unfortunately, he died of a heart attack in early January. I hadn’t known him long, but got to know him quickly when I visited him and my sister on several occasions. A gentleman, he was a kind, thoughtful and intelligent man. He was always up early making breakfast, enquiring what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go that day, fulfilling every request and need that I had. He and my sister were only married for a short time but they cared deeply for each other. We are comforted by the fact that, as Ossie’s sister said in her eulogy, he died a very happy man.
Sometimes, especially in these political times, it’s necessary for all women to remind ourselves that there are caring, respectful men around. So I’m dedicating this blog to good men like Ossie. I’m writing to give praise to those millions of men who try to do the right thing. They may not always be able to achieve it, but most of the time they do. They slog to work, go grocery shopping and do laundry sometimes, take their children to ballet classes and soccer, and try to pay the bills.
Despite that fact, many women would prefer to sing the blues. I often hear the complaint from other women that there aren’t enough good men out there, they’re all married or involved or gay. That’s nonsense, I point out. The internet is full of men who are single and straight and looking for love. It was a hope at one time, but now I know it to be true, thanks to my own good partner (and the internet). And in the process I’ve been exposed to many good men, yes, some married, but others not.
I’m lifting my glass and my appreciation for those men who are nothing like the politicians we’re seeing more and more these days, good men, who try their best to please their sometimes difficult and demanding women. At the same time, I cheer on the women who put up with them when they’re less than perfect.
And here’s to all my sisters – of all ages – who are still looking for a gentleman who’s just a decent man. Ladies, he might not look exactly like you think he should look, or talk the way you want or dress the way you think he should – but he’s there. The world is full of them.